I never expected us to experience a Lent with worldwide darkness and death. Life is upside down. There are days I wake with a sickening feeling in my gut, a combination of fear and dread. I can’t help but wonder if the feeling is similar to what my grandmother experienced when she got her cancer diagnosis. She must have known it was the end, but also knew there was no way to go through it except to go through it.
Spending week after week at home has been filled with highs and lows. I love being with my family. But it’s also stressful and scary. I’ve learned so much and have especially seen how much I take for granted. Big things, for sure, but ordinary things too, like having the groceries I want, enjoying working lungs, giving a hug or shaking a hand.
In my darkest moments, I wonder what life and our community will look like in a week, month, or year. Will small and established businesses we love come back? Will my friends and relatives be ok? Will I be here to hug my kids? Will they be here to hug me?
Over and over again I am reminded of St. Peter. With complete trust and confidence, he could walk atop the stormy sea. But when he took his eyes off Jesus, Peter started to sink. We must do what Peter experienced. We must fix our eyes on Jesus, even when it’s scary and uncertain. Even and especially when life is a storm.
This Easter, I hope and pray God will wipe out Corona virus and make a big showing of His power to the world. But even if He doesn’t, there is reason to believe. Our God is bigger than death, and that truth remains whether the seas storm or become calm. Whatever this day or this season brings you, keep the faith. Keep hoping. Keep your eyes fixed on Him. Refuse to let fear or despondency settle in. Even the grave isn’t the end!
I know it’s only Saturday, but I need to say it and I need to say it early. Hallelujah!
